Boston Marathon: I just ask "why?"

This world has gone crazy. After every big tragedy that comes up, I immediately think to myself..."why?".

What is so horrible, or wrong, that you have to hurt innocent people that have their entire lives ahead of them. I know people have problems, but seek help! After the shooting in Newtown last December, I remember crying for days. It still doesn't seem real, and I can't even fathom what the parents and friends are still feeling to this day. After Sandy Hook I've thought that there really is no safe haven, no place is off the table to these people that are troubled, hurt, or want revenge. Nowhere.

So once again, the Boston Marathon strikes a nerve with me because it's something that we have participated in whether it's as a runner or a spectator, and it's scary. So it makes me think, and once I get to thinkin' it's full speed ahead.

Thinking about the future, and this amazing journey we hope to be on by starting a family. Kids. Safety. All of those instances where I can't be around and protect them already scares me half to death. And the times where I am there and something still goes wrong. I read this quote recently and even though I'm not yet a mother, can understand completely. It goes a little something like this: "to make the decision to have a child, is to forever have your heart walk around outside your body". Now if that doesn't sound terrifying, I don't know what is.

This post isn't about anything political to change laws about gun control or security at public places/events (even though I do have very strong opinions about these topics), but it's a simple fact about me realizing the emotions I know will hit me so much harder when having a child. I know I can't be there 100% of the time and protect them in everything they do, and I accept that. I also know I will try my absolute hardest to raise kind and caring children, with the heart to always do the right thing and make good choices. I know I will be what people call an over-protective mom, and that's fine with me, although I think it should be called just-enough-protective-mom, because after all there's no such thing as loving and caring too much (but that's of course through my over-protective eyes).

Heather Ortiz, mama to be

Successful first visits!

Last month on Valentine's Day Jorge and I made our first visits to two birthing centers, and I'm happy to report they were very successful!  We were able to tour the facilities, meet the staff/midwife(s), and ask questions!

Some may think that this isn't something very romantic to do on Valentine's Day (don't worry we still had a dinner date!), but I can tell you there was no other way I wanted to spend the day with him.  Knowing that we are starting a family soon, and that he is just as interested in how we bring our baby into this world, is very sexy ;) (and romantic!)

In my first post I mentioned how there are three birth centers in our area and we were able to visit two.  I think it's a little early to write down comparisons but I can tell you that I'm leaning towards one slightly more than the other (final decision will be introduced at a later time).  Here are a few factors that will go into the final decision:

• Location from home (wherever we buy a house in the near future)
• Closest hospital (in case of transport)
• Compatibility with staff/midwife(s)
• Comfort at facility for us, as well as family that is there the day of

*Something that DOES NOT factor into our decision, is the cost!  Both birthing centers have the same costs for in-center births, and just slightly different prices for home births BUT this doesn't affect us in any way because how our insurance works both the deductible and co-payments are the same.  This is good for us because cost doesn't factor into leaning one one way more than another to save a few bucks and can really decide on which one our gut tells us to go with.

I've mentioned before how Jorge and I are really trying to be as prepared as can be which is why we visited birthing centers before we're even pregnant, and why I'm constantly pinning stuff to my boards on Pinterest! Til then, more research and dreaming of the future!

                                         Our Valentine's dinner at Dave & Busters 02/14/2013

Heather Ortiz, future mama to be

Planning. Prepping. Preparing.

Today is the first day in which this baby journey seems a little more real.  Most of the baby thoughts use to start with "in the future when i'm pregnant" or "one day when we start trying...", and now that we have an idea of WHEN that phase may begin I feel like it's really begun and there are so many things I need to start researching.

Insurance:  We are very lucky to have a great insurance plan with Jorge's work.  But I've heard and read so many horrible insurance stories I wanted to start getting information.  First things first, I needed to know if we needed to call BEFORE I got pregnant to make sure that I was covered.  I've heard of people not having those benefits because they didn't tell the insurance company they were trying to get pregnant.  Well what if it wasn't planned!? Obviously that is not my situation since i'm here gathering information beforehand, and the customer service representative with our insurance was able to explain our benefits and specific questions to ask our doctor/facility to make sure they accept our insurance plan and not just the insurance provider. So much information to shuffle through, but right now that's a good start.

Facility:  I feel like it's really early to start looking into where I want to deliver my baby since i'm not even pregnant.  But, I do have a really good idea of what I want in my birth and delivery which narrows down my options.  Right now my plan is to have a natural birth in a freestanding birth center with a midwife. Where I live, that makes it a little more difficult to find a midwife and facility I feel completely comfortable with.  There are three facilities I will be calling in the near future to set up initial consultation appointments with and go from there.  One is only 5 miles away, the second 25 miles, and the third is a whopping 32 miles away.  In the perfect world I will walk into the one right around the corner, love the midwife and feel completely comfortable in that facility, so I'll be crossing my fingers for that!

Midwife:  I already know the reactions i'll be getting in the future when people ask me who my doctor is and what hospital I will be delivering in.  No i'm not crazy.  Yes I've done the research.  No i'm not a hippie.  Blah blah blah.  Trust me, this was all very new to me until I started getting interested in the research and really not wanting a C-section.  To be clear, I am not against people who decide to have elective C-sections, epidurals, pitocin, etc.  This is just a personal choice I've made for myself and my future baby.  I understand that if I am a high-risk patient, I will not be able to have the out-of-hospital birth I'd like, but I believe I can start this process and hope for the best.  Pregnancy is not a sickness or disability, women have been giving birth for thousands of years, and I believe having a natural birth is the best for me and my baby.  Inspirations for this (and they don't even know it) would be my mom and my Wela (mom's mom).  I've grown up knowing that my mom had both me and my sister in the hospital, without getting an epidural.  My mom has told us stories how she and all of her siblings were born at home, and how that was completely normal at the time.  This is what I want.  This is what i'm striving for.  (For those of you wondering what ignited this birth plan please watch: The Business of Being Born, More Business of Being Born, and Pregnant in America, to name a few.)

Like I mentioned before, I'm in the planning, prepping, and preparing phases of what will hopefully be a pregnancy in the near future.  Even though right now we don't know how long it may take, and it seems so close because of actually talking to insurance companies and birthing centers, I will go with the flow and do everything I can from now until then to be ready.

If you have any suggestions about the preparation phases please let me know!

Heather Ortiz, future mama to be