Boston Marathon: I just ask "why?"

This world has gone crazy. After every big tragedy that comes up, I immediately think to myself..."why?".

What is so horrible, or wrong, that you have to hurt innocent people that have their entire lives ahead of them. I know people have problems, but seek help! After the shooting in Newtown last December, I remember crying for days. It still doesn't seem real, and I can't even fathom what the parents and friends are still feeling to this day. After Sandy Hook I've thought that there really is no safe haven, no place is off the table to these people that are troubled, hurt, or want revenge. Nowhere.

So once again, the Boston Marathon strikes a nerve with me because it's something that we have participated in whether it's as a runner or a spectator, and it's scary. So it makes me think, and once I get to thinkin' it's full speed ahead.

Thinking about the future, and this amazing journey we hope to be on by starting a family. Kids. Safety. All of those instances where I can't be around and protect them already scares me half to death. And the times where I am there and something still goes wrong. I read this quote recently and even though I'm not yet a mother, can understand completely. It goes a little something like this: "to make the decision to have a child, is to forever have your heart walk around outside your body". Now if that doesn't sound terrifying, I don't know what is.

This post isn't about anything political to change laws about gun control or security at public places/events (even though I do have very strong opinions about these topics), but it's a simple fact about me realizing the emotions I know will hit me so much harder when having a child. I know I can't be there 100% of the time and protect them in everything they do, and I accept that. I also know I will try my absolute hardest to raise kind and caring children, with the heart to always do the right thing and make good choices. I know I will be what people call an over-protective mom, and that's fine with me, although I think it should be called just-enough-protective-mom, because after all there's no such thing as loving and caring too much (but that's of course through my over-protective eyes).

Heather Ortiz, mama to be